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Whats the point on Living?I'm lost in this world alone
with no hope to go on
with only the tears
crashing all around me

There is nothing that can be done
nothing that is risk anything
I can't help it
but to make sure that I feel this pain

A feeling that I always wanted
a feeling that is like a drug to me
to slit my wrists open
and to watch the blood fall to the ground

There is no hope left to my life
there is no reason for me to be here
I'm stuck in this depression
that I can't seem to control anymore

I just want to feel the pain on my arms
to watch the blood flow from my arms
to feel this pain deep inside
to end my life for good....

There is no ho
Let my Life endI've lost hope for a long time
there is no way to turn back
all these feelings that I feel inside
when will my life dearly end?

Maybe I will take one last shot
to end my life fully
cause after all I'm just a problem
a person not needed no more

I will take my own life for good
It is better then living in Misery
I can't help but burst out crying
Cause in the end I am no longer alive

All the pain that I have ever felt
its so deep inside
I can't help but let my life end
Cause after all I'm just a mistake to begin with
Am i a shadow to you?Do i not exist to you?
cause I am just a shadow in this world
Do you know how I feel?
Or do you play this act all along?

Do I not exist within this life?
Or have you always used me from the start?
Am i even alive to this world?
Cause you made me feel that I don't exist

Am I just a shadow in the air?
Cause you walked over me knowing that I care
Do you know how much pain you put me through?
Or do you even care that you hurt me all this time

Do you feel that there is something between us?
Or was I never meant to be a friend to you?
Do you even care that we aren't friends
Or will this be another act in the end

Am I just a shadow to your life?
I need YouI need to feel your touch
I need to love you
I need to hear your heart beat
and to always hear your voice

You lighten up my world
You bring happiness within my life
I need to be with you
to always have smiles on my face

I need you here
I need you there
I need you with all my heart
cause without you I am nothing

I need you to want me
I need you to love me
Cause I will always love you
deep within me

I always want to show you
I always want to be here for you
I need you to be with me
cause without you, I am nothing

So love me forever
love me always
For with you in my life
There will always be love

I need to feel your touch
To hear your voic
I am a GirlI am a girl who smiles
when things aren't always happy
I am a girl who cries
but stands up and starts over

I am a girl who is Bisexual
that loves both of the sexes
I am a girl in love
with 2 people

I am a girl that is strong
when most are weak
I am a girl that smiles all the time
when everything is falling apart

I am a girl that sheds a tear
but starts all over again
I am a girl that never gives up
when things don't go her way

I am a girl with a heart
a girl that is in love
I am a girl that cares deeply
for those she truly loves

I am a girl who is in love
with a guy as well as a girl
I am a girl that is Bisexual
and stands up for what sh
Singing From the Same Hymn.Singing From the Same Hymn.

They’ll never know
And we won’t hold it against them.
It’s not like they owe
It to us to make us feel like men
And women that are destined for greater things.
They have a higher purpose and calling.
It is they who have a bigger say in the world we live in.
Yes our lives may be predictable and boring.
But we have all in some way earned our positions.
In this life there are followers and then there are leaders,
And it’s the leaders that make those cut throat decisions.
Just like in school, you have the underachievers and the divas.

They have abilities and talents that are deemed useful
And i
Not good EnoughI've tried my whole life
but I am not good enough
Nothing but a failure
Nothing but a mistake in this life

No matter what happens
No matter what I do
Nothing is ever good enough
and all i feel is tears in my eyes

Why bother trying?
when you know your not good enough
No matter what anybody says
It will never be the same in my eyes

The tears that fall
the cuts that don't heal
all the pain I feel inside
I never wanted to live

There is no point
there is no other feeling
but this pain deep within me
a pain that nobody knows...

I will never be good enough
I will never be the best
Cause I'm worthless to this world
and that is what I think of My
Mistake in LifeI'm a mistake
a worthless failure
after all that's what been said to me
through the years that i have lived

There is nothing I can say
Nothing that can ever change
of all the emtional trauma
of all the pain i feel

The words can't escape
they are always there
Haunting inside my head
telling me that it what I truly am

A demon I been known as
A monster that shouldn't exist
I was never wanted in this life
I was always let down by so many people

Nobody will truly know the pain
Nobody will truly understand
Cause of everything I went through
Maybe my time was up a long time ago

No escape from reality
No escape from these harsh w
DepressionI hear whispers inside my mind
telling me to do things
I don't know why I have to
but they pressure me to the max

I can't help but cry my heart out
I take this razor and slice my arm
The voices tell me to keep going
saying that pain is my best friend

I slice my arms some more
blood falls to the ground
I scream in agony
wondering why it is always me

I don't know what is happening
Maybe this life is a nightmare to all
Am I better off dead?
I tell myself everyday

I don't know what I'm suppose to do
I always keep hearing voices
Telling me that this is right
so I listen to them to the fullest

Scars all over my arms
I don't kn
Opposable Positions.Opposable Positions.

So if...

Good girls are really bad girls that never got caught

And

Kings and queens are insecure people that hide behind their forts.

Then

Survivors are cowards that run away when they could’ve fought.

Which means

Celebrities are strategists and opportunists that utilise their thoughts

And

Teachers are failures who couldn’t make use of the lessons life taught.

It would seem then you are either one way or the other.

There is fine undefined line between enemies and lovers.

So pick and choose wisely when deciding what side you are on.

Because you can never know the person you one day might become.

I have Depressive DisorderI am hopeless I am a failure
I have no goals I just want to end it
I don't know whats real I don't know the truth
I don't want to live on this earth anymore

I am a mistake I am useless
No hope to this world no faith within my life
I can't see the good I can only see the bad
What has this made me become to this day?

I wish it were all to end
This pain I feel deep inside
I don't see anything worth living
I want it to all end tonight

I wish i was never born
I wish i wasn't an issue.
I don't see good within me I can only see the bad
I am ugly I am nothing

I want to leave this world
I have no reason to be here
There is no faith there is no lif
NightmaresNightmares take over control
feeling things that i never wanted to feel
Nightmares make me stay awake
never have a good rest, always voices inside my head

My mind takes over control
I break out crying, that nobody will hear my screams
What do these nightmares tell me?
why does it control every part of me?

Sleep is my worse fear
never being able to rest
but I let my mind take control
hearing all the voices around me...

Nightmares ruin my life
making everything turn to hate
The pain that is burden deep inside me
when will my Life fade away?
Learn To Be StrongThis is normally the time when the tears come
When the words hurt and the bruises sting
But little did they know you have grown inside
Now you are immune to their bullying

The chances are that they may have suffered too
But this is no reason to be so vile
Now you’re twelve angry men finding them guilty
Of stealing your taut, tremulous smile

This is normally the time when you tremble
Huddle yourself up into a ball
But the only spherical shape they’ll be seeing
Is the flail as it maims and appals

The chances are that you will shatter their skull
And with that become as bad as them
Where were their morals when you were the victim?
Easter Thoughts and ConfessionDoest thou understand the meaning of love?
Doest thou believe it to be but an emotion or sensation ecstasy driven?
Doest thou think it to come in a rush of looks exchanged between the lamps of the soul?
Doest thou wish for it to manifest itself to do but one thing, make thee a human whole?
If this be that which is what thou doth hold to be true then I say to thee, ye know not the true meaning of love real.
Love came in the late hours, born as a child, underneath a star’s announcing from above.
Love grew as a boy in a carpenter’s home, learning from a mother the ways of sacrifice for another, for this is the ways a mother would tea
DesireIt is so good
when you can have
what you desire...
I desire you
and I have you.
Browse More Like This

More from *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx

Dreaming of YouEvery night I dream of you
wishing upon a star
that you were here for real

Every night I lay in bed
a dream so wonderful
cause you are in it

I dream of being with you
to grow old together
a day never apart
only you are in my thoughts

A feeling so wonderful
it is in my heart
the love that grows
stronger each day

Every night I think of you
our love is for real
you are always here

I dream of happiness
being with you all the time
a dream so magical
that everything seem so real

Every night
you are here with me
keeping me safe
throughout the night

After all it is just a dream
but I promise you
that one day it will be real

So for now I will
I don't belong hereI don't belong
in this world full of hate
Cause it is not who I am
I don't deserve this torture

I don't belong
to live on earth anymore
cause this life was never meant to be
and I'm not worth the suffering in life

I don't belong
to be here to this day
I have given up
the need to belong

I don't think I'm strong enough
to hold onto this life that I live
I don't belong here
to be put through this torment in life

No matter what I try to do
It is never good enough
I don't belong here
it is not what I want in life

Featured in Groups

:iconmental-illnessclub: :iconanxiety-disorders: :iconphysicalvsmental: :iconmental-illnesses: :iconmental-health-aware: :icondepression-victims: :iconwriting-4-life: :iconmentalillnesssupport:
×

Social Phobia

:iconxxxemogothicfairyxxx:

People scare me
this world is a scary place
why is everyone staring at me?
They must think I'm not worth it

Hiding alone in the corner
crying my heart out
why is this world a scary place?
Why am I hiding all alone?

There is no true feeling
no fear that i ever had
a feeling of restlessness
a feel of hate and disgust

Why is it crowded around here?
why are they all looking at me?
I can't control these emotions
I need to hide from this world for good

150

21 23 1
:iconxxxemogothicfairyxxx:

Social Phobiaby *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx

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Social Anxiety also known as Social Phobia. Which is common to Most people. I definitely have a severe case of it. Always wondering why people stare at you. Scared to talk in front of anyone. Fear of what people might say or do to you.
©2013 *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx
Category: Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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Submitted on
January 3
File Size
637 bytes
Views
150
Favourites
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:iconkillerlord123:
~killerlord123 May 22, 2013
I get all defensive and nervous around people. I'm better off alone and I love to be invisible and to keep a low-profile. We have stuff in common, pal.
Reply
:iconxxxemogothicfairyxxx:
*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx May 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah i get the same way :/ I'm more anti-social lol. Less drama and gossip that way :p
Reply
:iconkillerlord123:
~killerlord123 May 24, 2013
Indeed. We don't have to listen to other people's nonsense.
Reply
:iconmrhello556:
~MrHello556 Jan 9, 2013
I have paranoia. which isnt like what you have but when im in a group of people i dont know( or a large enough group of people i do know) i get very nervous and defensive.
Reply
:iconxxxemogothicfairyxxx:
*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww that sucks. I get like that too...even if its only with 2 or 3 people i shake and my anxiety acts up -.-
Reply
:iconmrhello556:
~MrHello556 Jan 10, 2013
Yeah its pretty annoying. i hurt some guy i didnt know because he bumped into me.
Reply
:iconheyarnoldfan7734:
~HeyArnoldfan7734 Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I suffer from a moderate-severe case, as well. Hard to live with. Especially when your family yells at you about being quiet, and teachers mistake you as simply being rude... :(

I also have Selective Mutism, which is related to severe social anxiety.
Reply
:iconxxxemogothicfairyxxx:
*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg i know that feeling lol. However Im usually quiet when im depressed. But I have ADHD which tends to make me talkative, but only to people Im closest to. Oooh I see. I have Social Anxiety. Generalized Anxiety. Panic attacks. OCD as well as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ._.
Reply
:iconheyarnoldfan7734:
~HeyArnoldfan7734 Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I have all of that, too, minus OCD, but I have symptoms of OCD, however. It sucks.
Reply
:iconxxxemogothicfairyxxx:
*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Definitely does suck lol.
Reply
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