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That FeelingDo you feel it
Deep within?

You can't ignore it
It will only get stronger

It drives you

You cannot rest
Because it is there

This need
This desire
This drive

A drive to create
To write, to draw, to make

To feel this
Is to be an artist

The Girl on the BusToday I saw a girl on the bus,
who had the deepest sorrow glazed across her eyes,
she sat three rows in front of me and took the window seat,
She stared out through the glass,
sun rays peaking through the trees as the bus was moving,
the way the light hit her face, beautiful.
Simply beautiful.
She traced an outline of a figure on the window,
then quickly looked around and rubbed it out.
I wondered what's on her mind?
her face expression showed a flicker between emotions,
from sadness and sorrow to quick bursts of happiest and joy.

She got up, the bus stop, she walked past and looked at me.
For a brief moment I felt her pain and

You are my WorldI love you forever
I love you always
I love you with all my life
I love you with all my heart

I love your gorgeous eyes
and the stunning smile
I love how you act
I love everything about you

I love you for who you are
I love you with all my heart
I love you no matter what
you are always on my mind

I love you with every part of me
I love you just the way you are
I love everything about you
I love how you treat me

I love you always
I love you forever
but most importantly
You are my world

Lonely NightAnother Lonely Night
beneath this darkness I hide
the depression takes over control...
while I start to fade...

The anxiety starts to act up...
as my mind thinks heavy thoughts..
wish this pain would go away
wish everything was different....

My body reacts badly
this pain is so deep
wish the thoughts would vanish
I wish my life turned out differently

Another lonely night
is all that it takes...
a mind that takes control...
of the thoughts that are deep inside

The urge for pain
the urge to react
my mind takes over control...
on this Lonely night I live

I'll always Love youI'll love you
no matter what
Nobody can tell me
to not love you

Cause in the end
you're my only
and this is just a new beginning
for our lives to begin

I will always love you
each and every single day
All day long
and throughout the night

In my thoughts
in my mind
cause it is true
you are always there

I will always love you
no matter what happen
Nobody can tell me
to not love you

Cause in the end
we were meant to be
cause it is true
I'm deeply and madly in love with you

I'm Still HereI am screaming again and
Throwing my fists into my mattress.
I am laying here trying so hard
To be something more than this.

My sheets are crumpled from
Being horribly wide awake
And restlessly unconscious,
But they still smell like you.
And it is achingly cruel.

I don't believe I will die,
But I do believe in reckless behavior
Because as hard as I try I
Will never be good enough for you.

My hands don't fit in yours
But I keep trying to force them to.
And I know you will let me
Because I am weak and I
Will undress when you ask me to,
But I really hope you don't.

I am screaming again and
It shakes my bones.
I scream

Insomnia"Close your eyes and get some sleep."

"I can't."

"Why? Just go to sleep."

"I can't!"

"Try."

"I've been trying for hours."

"Try harder."

"Help me."

"Think of the waves."

"......"

"Is it working?"

"...It was, until you started talking again."

"Sorry."

"Help."

"Don't think of anything."

"I've tried that already, and I can't do it. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it is for me."

"That was cold-hearted!"

"Sorry. Help."

"Listen to music."

"That induces thought."

"I'll hum you a lullaby, then. No words to think about."

"Please, for the love of all that is good, don't."

"Fine."

"....."

"....."

"...Help."

"I've got

Stop my heart from BeatingI take these pills tonight
just to stop my heart from beating
Just to feel this pain
as i cry myself to sleep

I take this knife I hold
and cut deep inside my skin
watching the blood pour down my arm
as if today was my last day to live

I make my heart stop from beating
to not feel this pain anymore
To make this all go away
pretending that this never started

I take these pills
I slice my arm
to feel the pain tonight
and to stop my heart from beating

Letting this hurt go away
as I cry myself to sleep
why do I wish to be here
why should I live a hateful life

Little GirlYou saw me,
Broken under the tree.
I sat alone,
Trying to be my own person.
Trying to live without a crutch.
But I guess you looked through me,
And saw the broken little girl I am.

I wish you hadn't scooped me up.
I wish you hadn't started caring for me.
I wish I hadn't cared for you.

You saw me cry.
You didn't know how much baggage I carried.
What I had,
You could never deal with.
The baggage I carry,
Needs someone to be around all the time.

I've been neglected.
Ive been lied to.
Ive been left out on the street to fend for myself.
Ive been left to fight other peoples battles.

I just want to be my own person.
I want to no

HeartI left my heart's door open,
But no one walked in.
I laughed but no one laughed with me.
All that's left is a symphony.
It's coming from the back of my heart.
I'm waiting for someone to hear it.
Will you listen?

The MaskThe Mask that Hides the pain
the depth within oneself
to hold it altogether
pretending that everything is Okay

The mask is the fake
the hurt on the inside
that No one will know
it hides all the pain deep inside

This mask that shows no mercy
no pain, no torment
It hides the fake
of the one that is truly in pain

Cause this Mask
is the perfect reflection
a perfect resemblance
of how one feels
about a life that is lost

This Mask is the perfect treasure
hiding behind it
to show no Pain
deep down in this Cruel world

Take My Hand"Take My Hand"

Please take my hand
And look me in the eyes
Make me understand
That I wasn't born to die
Don't say those last words
Please don't say its time
I can not concur
Its not time to say goodbye
I feel broken and alone
On many, many nights
But you make me feel at home
Like the stars in the sky
I've watched the world change
I've seen people come and go
Longing to stay the same
But this is never so
Just when things are stable
And at least one step I can take
That's when the cables
Yet again always break
So don't make me sad
Let's run away and hide
And no matter how bad
Together we can cry
Don't bring me down

Getting WorseI pick up the blade,
And set it on my wrist,
The world starts to fade,
When I know I can't resist.

That's just the start,
And it doesn't stop there,
It breaks my heart,
As I find out you care.

But the things get worse,
I start hitting my head,
Until it hurts,
And I fall on my bed.

My head hits the wall,
Once more,
Then I fall,
To the floor.

Air chokes my breath,
As I struggle to move,
It smells like death,
And I start to sooth.

I'm sorry I did this,
It's my weakness,
You are what I'm going to miss,
When I go into darkness.

sometimesSometimes I talk to myself. It began as an unintentional thing, muttering under my breath “This goes here, that doesn't go there. Yeah, that’s a good idea.” But the more nobody wanted to listen to me, the more I talked to myself. I am often my own friend, the only one who will listen to me speak. I am my own audience. And so the ideas strike me with the force of a landslide and I repeat them to myself because there’s nobody else tell. Nobody else who will listen.

ParanoiaParanoia.

I don't want to be this way.

But I can't help but feel this way.

No matter what you do

Or what comforting words you say.

My over active mind will not allow me to believe it.

My weary blood shot eyes will not allow me to see it.

Even though my attentive heart is able to receive it.

My thoughts and my imagination will corrupt and deceive it.

And that's why no matter how much I love you.

For some reason I will always feel cheated.

So please don't blame yourself because you have done more than enough.

You have proven yourself and have provided me with so much love.

There are only so many false accusations you can take.

The

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More from *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx

My best friendYou're never alone
I am always here
to comfort you
through thick and thin

When you need a friend
I will be the one for you
a true friend you are
but so very far away

A distant for sure
but in the heart is close
When you need a friend
I will always be here

You're here for me
through thick and thin
When I need someone to talk to
I can always come to you

You're like my best friend
even though you arent near
But my dear friend
You will always be in my heart

A true friend you are
so very caring
A friend that I love
and a friend so near

You arent here
but in my heart you are
Cause it is true
You are like a best friend to

Feelings..Feeling the need to cry
every deadly tear
Feeling so alone
in this cruel world

The past is coming back
where i was hurt as always
Feeling the need to cry
and disappear for good

No end to this misery
but the need to cry
Feeling the pain
deep inside me

No end to this depression
No need to be here
Feeling the need to cry
and leave this world for good...

We all have true feelingsI dont always cut
I dont do it for the attention
I dont always cry
and when I cry I feel the pain inside

Emos can be happy
they can be full of excitement
Emos are only people after all
Everybody has true feelings

I dont do it for the attention
I dont always wear black
I dont cover myself
and I dont cut all the time

I have true emotions
I have true feelings
I am like anybody else
I do have feelings

Emos dont do it for the attention
after all they are all people
We are born to live
we dont think about suicide all the time

We are humans
We are born to live
we dont need to die
and we dont always cry

I am not emo
I am a no

My life will changeMy name will change
My heart will heal
My love will become true
and my life will change

I will be unknown
I will be different
My life will change
to a happier one

My life will be new
my name will change
My life will be different
and my love will grow

My heart will be closed
my life will be changed
my mind will wander
and this will be a new day

First became worse
than it became horrible
now it will finally change
into a better life than before

Im biMom i told you something
a long time ago
but you didnt believe me
except laugh in my face

I told you that i cut
I told you that i am bi
I love both girls and boys
but I had depression as well

But mom
why do you think of me as a different person?
Why dont you believe me when i said I am bi?
Why do you treat me differently than any other person?

It meant a lot to me
when i was open
but in the end
I was left with tears that fell

Mom do you understand me?
Dad do you know how I feel?
Why cant i be open to you
without getting hurt all the time?

It is true
I am bi
I love both boys and girls
I am attracted to both

I have bee

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Submitted: October 7, 2012
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Just to Feel

by *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx, Oct 7, 2012, 9:53:38 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I would cut
just to feel the pain
just to know
that my life was worth it

Every inch on my arm
every inch on my leg
I would cut
just to feel the pain deep inside

To watch the blood pour down
to cry in happiness
I would cut
just to know that I still feel

Cutting my skin
burning it completely
I would suffer in agony
just to see if I still feel

Every scar that is there
every inch that I cut
it just proves
how much my life was worth it

I would cut
just to feel the pain
to know that Im still alive
to know that I still feel

Feeling of pain
feeling of torture
I would cut
to know that I still feel
In this world...