[x]

Pain and MemoriesThe constant crying
the urge to feel pain
it won't go away....
the memories in my head...

The urge to hurt oneself
the thoughts controlling me
I can't help....
but to cry my heart out

All the pain i feel...
the constant anxiety
I can't help
but to pass out....

The urge to hurt...
the urge to feel...
I can't help
but letting my mind control me

The tears rolling down...
making my chest hurt...
The pain deep inside
I can't help but to hide...

It won't go away...
the pain deep inside
just please help me...
take the pain and memories away.....

ListenWill you listen?
To me scream?
Scream so loud,
Your ears'll bleed?
Will you listen?
To my screams?
Screams so loud.
Your ears'll ring?
Will you listen?

Please?

The MaskThe Mask that Hides the pain
the depth within oneself
to hold it altogether
pretending that everything is Okay

The mask is the fake
the hurt on the inside
that No one will know
it hides all the pain deep inside

This mask that shows no mercy
no pain, no torment
It hides the fake
of the one that is truly in pain

Cause this Mask
is the perfect reflection
a perfect resemblance
of how one feels
about a life that is lost

This Mask is the perfect treasure
hiding behind it
to show no Pain
deep down in this Cruel world

Lonely NightAnother Lonely Night
beneath this darkness I hide
the depression takes over control...
while I start to fade...

The anxiety starts to act up...
as my mind thinks heavy thoughts..
wish this pain would go away
wish everything was different....

My body reacts badly
this pain is so deep
wish the thoughts would vanish
I wish my life turned out differently

Another lonely night
is all that it takes...
a mind that takes control...
of the thoughts that are deep inside

The urge for pain
the urge to react
my mind takes over control...
on this Lonely night I live

I just WishI wish you cared enough
to know how I truly felt
I wish you understood
what it was like to be me

I wish everything wasn't a lie
I wish that you appreciated me
and not think I was a coward
not think I was a mistake to this world

Everything I have done
why did you hurt me so much?
Why can't I show you how I truly feel
or how much damage you have caused?

I wish you knew when I cried
I wish you knew the pain I felt
I just wish
that you guys actually cared about me

How can I?You tell me to forget everything
You tell me to let it go
You tell me to move on
but how the fuck can I?

You say it's the past
But truthfully it never did end
You tell me it was a mistake
so why the fuck do you keep doing it?

Why the hell am I the one being mature
when you guys are fucking adults?
Why should I be blamed
for all the fucking bullshit that has happened?

You called me a mistake
you called me worthless
well maybe you are right
maybe that is true all along

Maybe everything you said about me is true
Maybe I was suppose to be hurt all along
but how can I let it go
How can I forgive anything....

How can I live life

HauntedI hear this haunted voice; it whispers lies
It keeps me up at night; it plays my fears
Allowing no sleep for these tired eyes
Telling me things that I don't want to hear

Am I really heartless or am I numb?
Is this simply darkness of am I blind?
Try to claw my way back into the sun
Leave a bloody trail for others to find

Following the sound of a lonely heart
Brought only false hope that I might be freed
I was led astray in the howling dark
The one way out is through the blood I bleed

I've given up hope of living in peace
I only wish now that my heart would cease

I Hate...I hate my body
cause I hate this pain
I hate my life
due to the fact my health acts up

I hate this anxiety
it never wants to end
I hate this depression....
it takes over my life...

I cant control the thoughts
the urge to feel pain
I cant control my mind...
it takes over control...

I hate the way I look
I hate my body
this health acts up...
it doesnt want to end the agony...

I can't sleep...
I am always sick...
I dont know what is wrong with me....
it feels like my body wants to shut down...

I can't control the shakiness...
it takes to much energy...
I cant control the constant crying...
it just happens all the time...

This LifeLife full of happiness
full of hope to live
but why do people
try to ruin one's life?

What has made this life
so hateful and painful?
Why can't people just love
and Be happy for once?

A life that suppose to be fun
full of excitement
But is left with war
and disobedience

Why must this life be hatred?
Killing an innocent person
what was the point
to put up with all this Pain?

A life that suppose to be caring
full of love and full of laughter
but now is full of digust
and full of Hurt

Why was this life so cruel?
why must it be so hateful?
Can't people just get along
and live life like it was a Happy place?

A place full of

Love you ForeverI will hug you tightly
and never let you go
cause you are
my one and only

I will love you forever
I will love you for eternity
cause you're the one
that has my heart completely

For you are my love
my life
my savior

I will always love you
I will always care for you
Cause baby it is true
you are forever my lover

I will cherish every moment
hug you tight
and never let you go

Cause in your arms
I will always be safe
I will always feel loved
I will always be ontop of the world

You're my baby
My love
my life

Baby you are forever my lover
forever in my future
cause it is true
I love you more then anything in this world &l

Wish you understood meI wish you understood me...
and my feelings that were there
I wish you knew all the pain
that I've felt throughout my life..

I wish you knew what you did
to hurt me so much in this life...
I wish there were words
to describe how I truly felt....

I wish you knew what you did
to cause trauma throughout my life
I wish you would understand
what it was like to be like me

I wish you cared enough
to take the time to understand how I feel
I wish you I knew
if you were lying or for once telling the truth...

I wish you didnt use me my whole life
I wish you didnt betray everything about me...
I wish I wasnt traumatized by this pain I

All you seem to do is ignore me..Let me begin with this

Maybe im not the MOST emotional person in the world

but i thought that wouldnt matter to you

at least..i thought you wouldnt treat me like filthy trash.

maybe it was stupid and naive of me to think

maybe i was special to you..

maybe im just a fool to think i could obtain happiness

Maybe...

Tossed away,uncared for?

Its pretty familiar to me huh

Why does my heart ache?

Why do i shed these salty tears?

When you ignore and push me away?

Dont you see?

Or are you to busy ignoring me?

Im emotional i thought..this could be my chance to love

that lovely song my heart strings would play

yet a sad melody resonates

I'm Sorry...I can never look forward to tomorrow,
For every new day reaps a new sorrow.
An evening, filled of regret,
One I shall never forget.
With all these torments I hide,
And memories hidden inside,
Another tear rips deep into my soul,
Each and every fight taking its toll.

Perfectionist ComplexI know I can never be perfect.
I know I can never win.
I know that.
I do.
But why do I always try so hard?
To strive to perfection, that's all I want.
Why can't I just be normal?
Why can't I be like everyone else?
Who laugh.
Who cry.
No.
That's all the same.
Laughing and crying are all the same things.
I can't be perfect.
I know that now.
I will be perfectly imperfect.
i Am PeRFeCt

Bleed To Death....All the names, the bullies,

The words they have to say,

Strikes pain into my heart,

Each and everyday.

I try hard not to listen,

They say i'm a fat pathetic whore.

So I go home and cut,

The scarlet words onto the floor.

I cut so deep and never stop,

I let the pain just leak away.

I let my blood rush out,

Hoping my life will end today.

I'm just not meant to live here,

It's just not meant to be,

I'm to dumb to stay alive,

i'm to weak,don't you see?

God doesn't care about me,

he watches as I cry,

My friends are just to busy,

To notice if I die.

I'm now inside a river,

Of a bright scarlet red,

I did it, pain is over.

I'm n

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The reason is YouLove had no meaning
Love had no purpose
Everything finally became real
the moment you stepped into my life

Love had no cure
to all hearts that been broken
Love had no passion
for there was nothing to feel

But you came into my life
and gave me the love that I needed
The love that was never there
finally became real to this world

You broke down this wall.
You came into my life
You were the reason
that I will always feel the love

There was no reason for Love
There was no reason to feel it
But you came into my life
and made all the pain go away

Love will now have a purpose
Love will now be the real reason
Cause with you in my life
There will

I Love youI love you
because you are always there
I love you
because you allow me to be myself

I love you
because you understand me
But mostly i love you
because you love me back

I love you
for who you are
I love you
because you make me free to this world

An angel sent above
to protect me all the time
I love you
because you are always by my side

But most importantly I love you
because you never once left my side
and I will forever love you
because my heart now belongs to you

Thank you MomThank you mom for being there
Thank you mom for always protecting me
Thank you for all the things that you have done
each and everyone of them meant something to me

Thank you for understanding
Thank you for talking to me
Thank you for everything you have done
It has made me very proud today

You have taught me a lot in life
You have always been there for me
Thank you for everything there was
Even more so for loving me

Thank you for taking me in
To always have a loving home
Thank you for helping me through everything
I mean these words that I say

I love you dearest
with all my heart

Thank you for being there for me
when I needed a mom to t

Moment we fell in loveYou have given me hope to this world
a way to let go of the past
You have given me a future to look forward to
a reason to live on this earth

You have given me this smile
and i swear i can't stop it at all
Cause you have proven to me in life
that there will always be happiness

You have given me the love that I need
the care in this world
I can't help but wonder why
why i deserve this much happiness

But I swear that it was always meant to be
The day that we fell in love
I can't help but have a miracle
that you were always mine forever

A life time full of happiness
There will never be an ounce of pain
cause I swear you took it all away
the

Light within my LifeYou are the light to my life
The stars in the sky
You are the beats to my heart
And the magic in the air
You brighten up my world
Make everything bad go away
You are the Love of my Life
and the one I can't live without

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Submitted: October 21, 2012
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All my Fault

by *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx, Oct 21, 2012, 5:39:52 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I'm sorry for all the problems
I'm sorry what my life turned out to be
It must be all my fault
you guys must hate me dearly....

I'm sorry for whatever I did...
But I'm just a child with problem
It must be all my fault
after all parents aren't wrong...

I'm sorry for making your life miserable
I'm sorry that I wasn't worth you time
Everything must of been my fault
Cause after all I'm a child with problems...

I'm sorry for every wrong I did
I'm sorry for making this life a nightmare
It must be all my fault
cause I have issues in life

I wish I could take it back
I wish I never had these problems...
I'm sorry for everything
More so for being alive

You guys now hate me
I am left with no family
I am sorry for everything
It must be all my fault

All my Faultby *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Its nothing. Im fine. I guess. I dont know. Im a person with problems. Im sure you guys know who this goes out to, but its my life. So whatever. I dont care

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~YuukiMinami Oct 21, 2012

I would like to say, though I don't know you very well, that of all I have read of you, it does not seem like your fault. I will say that again. It is not your fault. At all, ever. There are never bad children, only bad parents, and it is a miracle you turned out this beautifully after going through what you did.

It is not your fault.

*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you. I needed that

~YuukiMinami Oct 21, 2012

Oh, gosh. I was looking through dA's emoticons to find a proper response, and I found this.

Made my day xD

*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

LOL its funny XD or this

~YuukiMinami Oct 21, 2012

Heh

*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Lol i thought it was funny

~YuukiMinami Oct 21, 2012

I feel like this sometimes

*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Hehe

~Animalgirlxo Oct 21, 2012 Student Writer

hun...you're not fine...and i'm so sorry...i'm here for you if you want to talk...please just keep going...i love you and i know others who love you too...

*xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Awww and its okay, I'm slowly getting better. I love you too and I will for sure talk to you if I need to

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All my Fault

All my Faultby *xXxEmoGothicFairyxXx

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